| Cause saying 'I love you' has nothing to do with meaning it... |
[entries|friends|calendar] |
|
|
your misery's my fucking healing...
|
|
|
| lyrics cause im angry =) |
[02 Oct 2004|04:03pm] |
seether - 'your bore'
You make me feel like I’m a whore
Like I’m the one who’s there to bore you now
It’s always gonna be this way
Get the fuck away
‘Cause I can’t seem to show you what you wanna see
I can never give you anything you need
I’m sick of wasting time on what can never be
I cannot control you into wanting me
You always wanna steal the light
By stepping on the ones who fight for you
It’s always gonna be the same
Get the fuck away
‘Cause I can’t seem to show you what you wanna see
I can never give you anything you need
I’m sick of wasting time on what can never be
I cannot control you into wanting me
I hate what you are
I’ll break you and leave you scarred
I hate what you are
I’ll break you and leave you scarred
I hate what you are
‘Cause I can’t seem to show you what you wanna see
I can never give you anything you need
I’m sick of wasting time on what can never be
I cannot control you into wanting me now
Into wanting me now
Into wanting me now
Into wanting me now
Into wanting me
|
|
| ahh school blows |
[02 Oct 2004|03:52pm] |
wowie i hate school... =( aloooot of work and i cant really deal with it. this whole week went by so fast, thank god. i still kind of feel out of it from last weekend =) ha joce, matty & phil - bickfords at 3 am lol. well tonight im babysitting from 6 till sometime late (which is okay because it means money and i can always party afterwards...) and idk what im doing tomorrow. i def need to get my liscense and get into drivers ed cause ill be 17 in january and im tired of bumming rides of people =). luckally my daddy said he'd by me my car if i do alright in school so i better get on that shit! the car im getting is a cabrio =). i love vw's so it'll be good... well im off to the showerrr, laaata.
|
|
| good ol' londonderry high... =( |
[04 Sep 2004|10:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 good |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
mob deep - twisted |
] |
ahh so i havent updated this bitch in a while but yeah i started school... blah. its actually not all that bad (aside from the 2 page paper due the next day for english...). i have alright teachers and i know a few people in every class so im doing alright i guess... im making a new lj soon cause im tired of this one and i 'started a new chapter in my life' <- lol =). i really have tho, ive made a few HUGE changes which i should have made a long time ago. i was living a nightmare because i felt that i was supposed to. i dont think things could have gotten any worse and i knew exactally the source of the problem - and im sure if you know me you know exactally who that person was. i realized i was so caught up in that whole 'situation' that i couldnt see it for what it was, i couldnt see how distructive and how horrible had deteariated everything had become. i had two choices- one being to not do anything atall... which ment i would be forever at his mercy and be misrable for the rest of my life because of this '' love '' that i was holding on to... (gah), or i could make a drastic change and walk away from everything ive known and thought i loved and needed. one thing ive definatly learned is that people that love you dont hurt you. period. they especially dont hurt you over and over again. just because somebody is given complete control over you and your life, doesnt mean that they have to take advantage of that in a horrible way. yeah, it was definately a fault on my part to hand over everything but any good person wouldnt do what 'was done' with my emotions, feelings... my life, ext. but its all been good because i had never taken a step back from it all, and once i did, i could see things for what they were, which was devistating and not what i ever imagined. i feel so foolish now, so desprate, and i see who this person is for real, this person i thought i loved and who loved me back. let me tell you, thats not love. its like having a book up soooo closely to your face that you cant make out any of the words, but once you move it away to a distance, you can see everything for what it is... (yes i just used a bad news analogy) =). well anyways, im officially done. i dont care to hear any gossip, i dont care atall about any of it. that shit wont help this process atall. this is just something i need to do. so if you hear shit, id greatly appriciate if you wouldnt tell me... talk about it in my presence, whatever- ive pretty much taken all i can. this is definatley going to be a challenge, moving on is never easy. i mean, ive already been tested and thank god i found enough inner strength to not give in... (and ohhh how good it felt, let me tell you). its funny because now that ive closed that 'chapter' in my life, ive come to realize how i was stripped of all self respect, self worth, my identity, everything is completely gone. i was sooo draned but that will change, it will just take time. but yeah, thats it... thats all thats going on in my life... =) well im out to go watch the planes with joce and jeffy... bye all =).
|
|
| stolen from 'survey sluts...' |
[30 Aug 2004|10:35pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
my name is - eminem |
] |
In The Beginning.....
Who are you: anna
Where are you from: massachusetts
Birthday: 1.15.88
Are you tired of answering those same 3 questions in every quiz u take: i suppose
Why did you decide to take THIS quiz: time on my hands...
*How do you feel about.....
Homosexuals: eh. lesbians i can DEFINATELY do without (no offence...)
Heterosexuals: there just wonderful
Bisexuals: i love them, haha not really- but i do love one (because i have to) =) TML i love you!
Christians: i am one
Pagans: go straight to hell...
Harry Potter fans: i've yet to see\read anything 'harry potter' related. im not really into that shit and i find it quite pathetic.
Star Trek: that 'data' guy always gave me nightmares, so i tend to shy away from that show
Buffy The Vampire Slayer: painful acting, what? i dont have time for sarah michell gheller and\or neck biting and blood sucking
Friends: never really understood the whole friends hype... but its better than buffy
Will & Grace: i live for it, karen is GREAT.
Religion: religion is so important. i mean im not like a church goer, but praying has def helped me through some shitty times. (haha i just did some ministering)
Politics: i LOVE bush. Kerry sucks and has horse teeth. BUSH is hott, i want to marry him. as you can see, im a HUGE BUSH FAN and a REPUBLICAN with zero tollerance for john kerry. any questions.
Gay Marriage: shouldnt be allowed. i mean im down for that whole 'civil union' thing, but marriage is for a man and a woman... i dont think anything less should be allowed.
Straight Marriage: well obviously^
Marriage in General: ahh its wonderful.
Disney Movies: there great i guess, but i havent watched one in the longest time.
Diet Soda: i livvvve off diet mountain dew. its all my family drinks. =)
Music Piracy (MP3 File Sharing): i do it all the time. musicians need to get over it... look at it this way, we like your music sooo much that were sharing it with others for free! =)
*Ooooh... Look at all the stars....
Is Christina Aguilera a slut?: nope.
Is Britney Spears a slut?: no, but theres lack of talent in the singing department.
Did Janet intentionally let her boob flop out?: umm yah. those things dont just happen, it was def planned.
Did Michael molest those kids?: haha petifile what? definately. i liked him when he was black better... =)
Did O.J. do it?: obviously.
If you had to star in a same-sex love scene, who'd it be with?: angelena or paris
opposite-sex love scene, who would it be?: josh hartnett
Who's your favorite actor?: denzel washington
Who's your favorite actress?: reese witherspoon
Favorite Musician or band?: all american rejects & ashlee simpson
Favorite author?: the chicken soup books...
Favorite stand-up comedian?: chapelle
Favorite athlete?: david beckham
Favorite model?: gesele (or whatever...)
Favorite Talk Show host?: im a WHORE for Dr.Phil. i love him. oprah is pretty good too.
*More about you.....
Are you single or are you taken?: ahhh.
What do you do in your spare time?: hence you reading this survey... =) and i go to the gym.
What are your creative outlets?: singing
Do you have a webpage?: yup my live journal
Do you read/write fanfic/slash?: what?
What is in your CD player right now?: several mixes, avril lavigne & shine down.
What is the last TV show you watched?: dr. phil
What is the last thing u said out loud?: 'mom whats a pagan'
last thing you ate?: chinkfood at the mall
last thing you drank?: diet coke
What are you wearing right now?: my pjs
What do u lie awake thinking about at night?: how im dreding school...
How many pillows do u have on your bed?: 4
How many things are there in you room that have to be plugged in?: havent counted latey..? but i know ive got no free outlets if that says much
How long have u lived at your current place of residence?: 8 years
What (if any) jewelry do u always wear?: earings & chris bracelet
Do you have any tattoos?: haha no but i think jeffs gonna give one =)
Do you have any piercings?: ears (i know im a badass)
*Social Life......
Where do you like to hang out the most?: my house...
Are you usually the designated driver?: i dont drive, or have my liscense (i know its a problem but im kinda lazy)
Do you drink?: yeahhh
Do you smoke?: on occasion
Do you do drugs?: haha =)
Do you dance at clubs?: of coarse
Do you talk during movies?: i try not to.
What is your favorite restaurant?: applebees & 'nachos' - on elm
*Favorite......
Pop Princess: christina
Boy Band: im not gonna lie, i LOVE otown, still =).
Rocker Chick: amy lee & ashlee
Rapper?: eminem... boy would i lovvvve to have one night with mr. marshall mathers
Color?: pink
Food?: im a whore for mexican food. period. =)
Drink?: orange julius's & redbull
|
|
| ewww school thrusday... =( |
[29 Aug 2004|11:28am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
ODB & mya- ghetto superstar |
] |
unlike mr. thomas p lavalley jr the 3, i am NOT giddy, excited, ext about school. in fact, im dreading it and i dont want to deal. school sucks. im not going to do so well with waking up at the asscrack of dawn, and having to be at LHS at 7:20, no fucking thanks. ew i cant believe summers pretty much done. it definately wasnt long enough, by far. oh well, the other day i was a mall whore and proceeded to spend all my money on cloths. i think i spent like 200 but i got alot for it (ahem sale slut). again, unlike tom, i refuse to go to abercrombie and spend like 50 dollars on a fucking t shirt and 125 dollars on a fucking pair of pants! nooope. i pretty much just got all shit from charlotte russe, gap, express & tommy... not bad. i have alittle more to do but im lazy. ehh anyways, ive been sleeping over jocelyns like every night cause i dont have a bed or a room... (we had to take out everything so they could do the wood floors last week, which they've yet to install...). its alright tho, concidering i have my own bed at her crib (yep i said crib) and we sleep in the 'kunt house' haha =). so yeah i just got home from jlyns and now im gonna get my ass in the shower and to the gym. i havent been for a while =(. bye alll =).
|
|
| ahhhh =) |
[28 Aug 2004|02:50pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 accomplished |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the D12 cd =) |
] |
so last night was a blast =) i hung out with joce (ofcoarse), srugis & phil! good times good times. haha we reaaaal went to bickfords at like 3 am! 'shut the fuck up bitch, ill kick your ass, you've only got one tooth!' haha bickfords white trash drama, i live for it! well yeah, that was such a fun night, i love those boys =). srugis im gonna miss youuuu! welllll so yeah me and joce went home and slept till like 10 and we got ready and went to the new dunks & got coffee colatas =). thennn we went to the football game at school to see phil a and jeff... but only jeff was there. i saw two of my favorite faggots at the game, - alicia and derrick hartung! derrick your discusting. anywho, after that, we drove jeff home and chilled there for a while and now me and joce are here, about ready to jump into the pool. were sweating like whores in church, and its not too good. well were hitting the pool... so later =)
|
|
| ahhh |
[25 Aug 2004|09:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crazy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
xhibit- alcoholic |
] |
hmmm so today was alright... i worked from 12-6:30 (eh) and then ang picked me up cause im a bum and dont drive =). ive been home all night just cleaning & shit... since nobodys home i thought id keep the place sparkling. joce gets outta work at i dunnowhat timeee... and when she gets home shes gonna dye my hair. its basically the same color but less like gloden blondish tint... (the shitty colors left over from when my hair was stripped cause i was fucking retarded and decided to dye it black...). so yeah its just gonna be light brown, ha. i get paid tomorrow, sweet- i cant spend it tho cause i need to buy some of my own school cloths cause my parents are being belegerant... wow. shit i need to get my nails done again too. anywaysss tomorrow im working from 12-6ish again and then afterwards me and joce are going to angies for dinner (cause shes the best fucking cook ever) and then im gonna do my music thannng with justin =). well im gonna get my ass back to cleaning but ill attempt to write in here later (ha as if people give a shit about my life... =).) ah im pathetic. well, night all.
ahh oh by the way last night was awwwesome- i love you so much =) 'alwaysss'
|
|
| aaaawesome =) |
[25 Aug 2004|11:25am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 rejuvenated |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
code 5- whats your name girl =) |
] |
this has been the best week so far... i hope it continues to get better =). me & joce have had soo much fun ah i cant even write about everything it would take such a long time but yeah ive had a fucking blast... but ofcoarse ive gotta leave for work now so ill try to update later =). bye all.
|
|
| mayyyn... |
[21 Aug 2004|10:02pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sore |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
none- headache, silence. =) |
] |
ah so its like 10 and i've been busting my ass all day. were getting hard wood floors in our upstairs so we had to move all of our stuff out... which was alot. so yeah im going to be drifting in and out of here, angies house, and jocies house since were having all this work done and its gonna be a night mare to live here during all the work (dust cause my horrible allergies and the loud noises)... so you can reach me at all three of those places, including my cell 490.6716 . well im tired and joce should be here soon so im ending this... =) night all.
|
|
| mmmkayyy... |
[19 Aug 2004|10:29am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cranky |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
brushing of teeth- eek. |
] |
so its about 10:30, and i've got a misrable dentist appointment at 11. wow, cant wait for that- thanks. i have reaaal bad cramps and its making me bullshit so im just not in the mood for anything atall. oh well, im kind of excited causeee i get to start that new 'seasonale' pill monday =). that'll be great! anywho, i sleep like a drunken whore lastnight... it was great. hopefully, joce and i are going to have a fun night, even though we've got nothing planned thus far. shes getting me from the dentist at 11:45 then bringing me to work 30 mins away (might i add i start at 12...) and im gonna work from 12-4. then were most likely going to work out, but we may got late tonight concidering manchesters WCWC is open 24-7 monday through friday. thennn were gonna get shitty! so if anyone wants to join pleeeease let us know! haha well ive got to go to hell, i'll write laterrr (if im not in a drunken stuper haha). byeya
|
|
| hmm |
[18 Aug 2004|09:41pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 exhausted |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
lasgo- alone |
] |
so from last nighttt- went to bed, christopher called super late as usual... we talked for a few hours & then i went to sleep. i woke up this morning at 8 (ehh i know) and got my ass in the shower... at 9 i went to phils football thing at school and we stayed for a few hours (me & joce). might i say that listening to coach sawyer is quite amusing, acutally- very amusing at that. damn that man can scream. anyways, after the game was over, joce drove me to christophers house. me and him hung out for a couple of hours, good timesss =). we fought alittle, like always... but i can definately see that things are getting better. thanks babe for showing me 'the diffrence'. i love you so much. after that, chrissy brought me home & thomas came over! we went for a swim and then phil wanted me to meet him at the recs so we went there for an hour or so... and then drove by bens work in hopes of harassing him (but we didnt see him) and then went to the gym... =) haha tom. then, toe-mas brought me home & ive just been chilling ever since. daddy went out and got me some cherry slush... damn i love that shit, and ive been chatting online and such. my mom is such a whore, she went clubbing AGAIN tonight. haha shes such a party animal, i love it. so, im thinking ill go take a shower when im done with this and most likely hit the sac. chris is supposed to stop by (if hes got time) and hes most likley gonna call late tonight again... so ive got that to look forward too. tomorrow, ive got an dentist appointment at the ass crack of dawn. i fucking hate going to the dentist, i can honestly say id much rather go to the gyno! haha i know its sick but i cant deal with that tickle brush- and it doesnt tickle me by the way, i find it quite painful!. after that, ive gotta work 12-4 (thank god only till 4) and then me and jlyn are hopefully gonna get shitty! well goodnight all... =)
ah yes by the way i need a new job... badly.
|
|
| gah work sucks! |
[17 Aug 2004|07:47pm] |
|
holy fucking shit i hate children! that said... my day was busy beyond belief and far too long. 12-6:45 seemed more like 10 hours but whatever. im home, finally... and im just about to leave for the gym! i lovvve the gym! me and joce are such gym whores- ah. didnt really do much last night, just stayed at angies w\joce till late, ate over there, played with the chick & got alittle fucked =). i was whiped so i came home and went to bed and ofcoarse my room was belegerantly hottt as fuck. around 12:30 am chris called but we didnt really talk for long concidering i was half asleep and unable to carry on a conversation- sorrry babe =). well i gotta leave for the gym now, and when i come home im just gonna hit the sack cause im tired as fuck. plus, i gotta wake up extra early cause im going to LHS at 9 for phils game... buttt im out so later!
|
|
| thinking alouddd... |
[16 Aug 2004|09:47pm] |
|
god ... do i love you
and i a l w a y s will
no matter > what <
through thick & thin
<n e v e r e n d i n g>
EeTtEeRrNnAaLlLlYy
* -F-O-R-E-V-E-R- *
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
dramatic_pink's journal
dorky
